Many a time when we feel we have been blinded for so long. It only takes one thought to bring us close enough to see the sparkle of shimmering light from the depths of the cave of our mind.

I once asked myself why it is that I want what I so desperately desire? What would I gain from achieving it? What does it have to do with my goals and how I feel in the future?

For so long, I have desired recognition. I can’t be blamed, simply because, who doesn’t? Recognition is considered in many sciences a fundamental human desire, along with food, water, and shelter. We want to be known, we want to be talked about, we want to be remembered. We want to fascinate others, and inspire others, and be a role model for others to follow. But I shall ask once more: Why?

The deepest desire that lies within out hearts cannot escape into the realm of the real world, where other humans are, and what things seem like. What we want is a feeling. We want to learn so that we are more knowledgeable than someone we know, or not yet perhaps. We want to work so that we seem more productive than others, or that we have more money. This is the case in most situations, but I will not go so far as to say all. But here lies a fundamental flaw in our notions and views in the world. We are associating our dreams with what others do, instead of what we do. We work so that we see results, but those results do not always come. Two people could do the exact same thing, work equally hard, and smart, but in the end, one achieves the goal… and the other does not.

Answer me this: Which of the two is happier at the time of victory?

We should be happy with our efforts, as they cannot be judged. I wanted to be someone inspiring and amazing to others, just because I like the feeling of someone saying “mashalla.” This soon turned into a fantasy of pleasing others, even if it means downplaying what I believe in. I see others on screens that inspire me, and desire to be like them. I ask myself, what are they feeling? Are they constantly feeling good from being praised? Or perhaps see that twinkle in the eye of their audience? They most certainly do not, for that is not their goal nor their focus. What they feel is confidence in themselves on the back of hundreds of hours of hard work, and a drive towards a goal they feel is worth their time, if not their dear life. So I ask myself again, why do I so want to be in their position, where I won’t even feel what I assumed I would feel? The feeling of looking back into my own eyes years earlier and saying that I did it, now I’m famous or whatever. What is it that I did by focusing on being popular, wasting my time, instead of focusing on a goal and being amazing to myself to do what I think deserves doing.

Look at people in the past. They are on talk shows not because they can talk, or can entertain a crowd. Every third person on the street could do something of the likes. They are on there because they have done something outside a crowd that deserves reckoning. Boxing, manufacturing, running, inventing. What matters is what you do when no one is watching.

I end my short statement with a question. I would be interested to hear what you have to say. Sometimes, focusing on something really hard can help you attain it. But other times, focusing can cause you to backtrack, and you end up losing what it was that you initially wanted. A classical example is friends. Wanting someone to be your friend too much can make you seem needy, whereas ignoring someone can be a premise to make them more determined to gaining your favour. My question is: When is it that focus facilitates achievement, and when is it the opposite?

P.s. I wanted to write a short apology here for not having anything really interesting or engaging to say. But why apologise for expressing myself. No one is forcing you to read. Peace.